my last letter of the year.

Hi, I know I left you with a lot of questions that probably start with “Why?” I'm aware that I kept my distance from you, and it's clear that you did as well. First, I want to explain my side. I kept my distance because I realized that it was the best and right decision to make. When you chose her, I felt that I also had to choose myself. I hope you understand that. It was for the best—not just for my well-being, but for yours and hers too.It was sad for me. I don't know how it was for you, but for me, it was difficult and painful. Holding back everything I felt just so I wouldn’t lose myself in the end wasn’t easy. I hope you understand why I did what I did.I wrote this letter because, unfortunately, I’m the kind of person who can’t fully move forward without communicating. I just feel bad that our friendship was affected, and it saddens me that we are no longer the way we used to be. I just want to end this year with a heart at peace. I want you to be happy, so I chose distance. I want her to have peace, and I want peace for myself too.I want to end this year knowing that we’re okay—no awkwardness, no heaviness—because it breaks my heart when things turn out that way. Sorry for suddenly reaching out like this. You might not read this or even think much about it, but I’ll understand.I will.
I always do.Advance Happy Holidays! I wish you both the best in the years ahead.Sincerely,
Your friend.